Caz

Ok today was a good day. It started well and just got better from there. I got over my sad and sorry stage yesterday and continued full steam ahead today.

My diet was kick butt!! I searched around and planned out a healthy menu, which I actually stuck too. I made sure I did not miss out on all the stuff I liked, I just went for the lower fat option on everything. My daily intake is supposed to be around 1200 calories, after exercise it came in at about 1000. How good is that!!! I know that I must eat back the 200 calories but I will later tonight when I have my treat of a small choccy frog. Gotta have that energy for tomorrow..lol

What is even more kick butt about today is I got to walk Castle Hill and made it to the top! It is only about a 2.5k walk but mostly uphill. I stopped about 3 times for a breather as my heart felt like it was pounding out my chest but I kept going. I turned the music up and tried to focus on the music rather than the long steeped road ahead of me.

I also got to the gym for half an hour. Did 20 mins on the bike and then 10 on the rower. Hubby then got me to lay down and give him 40 situps. Man that was hard. I had to have my feet held as my body was doing the funky chicken thing and going everywhere but where it was supposed to be.

So all in all it was a great start to my personal challenge. I am behind on writing in the challenge group that I am in but I will do it soon. I can so do this!! Thanks also to those that have left support here on my previous entries. You Rock!!

Here is my Hill that is one metre short of a mountain!!

I was doing so well too.  I have finally gotten my head into this exercise regime and was doing so good.  I attempted a 1k run tonight with my son.  We were doing a 4.5 walk and he said “Lets run the last 1k”.  So hyped and ready to go, I grinned and said “ok”

Maybe it was the belief that I have superpowers and off I jogged.  I was puffing and panting, the whole time thinking I am going pass out.  But I hung in there.

I could see my house rounding the corner.  I smiled and thought YES I am almost there.  I kept going and just as I neared our fence I raised my arms in the air and yelled out ” I made it”.  Just as the word “it” left my mouth all I seen coming was the hard surface of the road.  As I was crossing the lawned area of the footpath my foot fell into a ditch, as it was night, and I went down, hard!

My foot is swollen and I have it iced.  Why now?  I am just getting into this.  I really did not want this to happen NOW.  I did so well to!!  My leg is raised up with the ice as I type this and I am feeling sad and sorry for myself.  My son, the one who was with me when it happend, could do nothing but stand above me and laugh his arse off.  I was rolling around in agony, my knee was slightly bleeding and my hands have skin taken off.  I do not fall gracefully.  Shit!!  lol

Well other than that I am still doing on on the diet side of things.  I havent updated my food journal yet but I have lost 2 pounds in the last 4 days.  Go Me!!!!!  lol

Thanks to everyone who has commented here.  I really do appreciate your motivation, kind words and support.

Today was not to bad. I truly thought I was doing well. Watched what I ate and added it to the food diary to keep track of what I was doing. My calorie intake was really good until I added the almonds to my snack list. WOW, it blew it out of the water!! I have always believed they were pretty healthy! I snacked on them all day to stop myself from hitting the sweet stuff. funkitall!!!

Is it just me or does everyone else see food in its glorious manner when you are trying to avoid it? I mean what is up with the doughnuts! Everywhere I looked there they were, beckoning me to taste one. Just one bite! The smell of them freshly cooked was driving me insane. I kept telling myself that one bite, just to get the sugar hit would be enough but I know that one bite leads to 20 doughnuts later. dammitall.

I am a little ticked. I really thought I did ok today. Oh well not to worry I can see where I went wrong and can at least fix it. I am proud of myself that I did not at least curse and swear all through this. I am not only trying to lose weight but I am trying to curtail my language and even give up smoking eventually. The smoking can wait, I cannot do all 3 at once. Mind you the smoking is doing me the worst damage at the moment but it is keeping me sane and off edge, for now anyway.

I tossed with the idea of using this but I guess it will give me a better idea on what I am actually doing if I log it.

I am not sure if this will ever get read but if so then I must warn who ever reads it that I am very honest and tend to say what I think.  This being said, I also tend to word it in ways that is most likely not acceptable but this is my place to vent, laugh and cry so I will be writing for myself not for the public.

I am fat.  There I said it.  Why is that so hard to admit at times?  I have been overweight since I can remember but mostly since the birth of my last child.  I feel unattractive, tired and very unhealthy.  My sex life, my outlook on life and even my personality is affected by my weight to some degree.   Some days I look in the mirror and cannot believe it is me looking back at myself.  What the hell happened and how did I let myself get to this?

What do I want from my weight loss?  To be the goddess that is bursting to come out.  To be healthy, fit and happy.  I want to join the military eventually.  I am just hoping that I will stay on task and get there before I get too old to even join.

I detest exercise so this is going to be interesting in itself.  I walk and jog a little, I want to be able to find something that I enjoy so I can keep it up and eventually increase it.   Because I am overweight my motivation is at its lowest.  Most days I want to curl up and go back to sleep, not walk my butt off in the damn heat.  But this weight isn’t going to drop off by wishful thinking alone, so here I am.